Here's my story...
If you had known me as a child you never, never would have guessed that I would become a pastor. I was afraid of people I did not know. I hated to talk in front of people. I was the kind of kid who was so quiet that I blended into the background. And, I liked it there in the background. It was nice and undemanding.
And yet, here I am standing in front of you front and center every Sunday. The journey from shy quiet little girl to now is a long and complicated one. Because of time, I will not tell you all the steps on that journey. But, I will tell you that over and over again, it felt like God was pushing me off of the safe and sturdy diving board and into the scary deep end of discipleship. Every time, I wanted to scream, “No! I can’t go I’m scared!” And, every time, God would reassure me that this was where I was to go and what I was to do.
It began with small things like going to church camp, or leaving my family for a week to go with the church mission trip. Then it was going to a Bible Study where I knew no one. Then it was leading a Bible Study. Then it was countless other things until I got here. Each new step was scary and challenging. Each time, I was forced to rely upon God’s power and not my own. And, each time, I found that God’s resurrecting power was more than I needed. God’s love was with me each step of the way. And through, God’s gifts and guidance I find myself your pastor. And through God’s gifts and guidance, I know we will be able to continue our journey together.
Would you share your story of how God worked in your life?
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Like many people, I find myself pleasantly surprised that I survived my youth! Thankfully, God’s prevening grace “came before” I ever knew Him; I only knew that something was missing, but not its size or shape. As an undergraduate I went to random churches and minored in Religious Studies, looking for answers. Later I laboriously and joylessly read the Bible cover-to-cover and watched over-the-top televangelists. But still I could not pass Go or collect $200 through my own works. No one comes to Jesus unless the Father sends them. In retrospect, I see that God’s grace flowed through others as a river instead of as a well with a hand-pump: a neighbor who invited us to church and then re-invited us after a pastor had de-invited us; my wife’s steadfast patience and endurance; another pastor who spoke my language and talked about John Wesley’s understanding of grace, the “Weslyan” quadrilateral, and our Social Principles. I came to grasp the dimensions and nature of the hole in me – from something’s missing to missing something special.
Once I could acknowledge my brokenness and its solution, and once I stopped trying to justify myself, I opened up to God’s justifying grace – I could be “made right” with Him through re-birth as a follower of a Christ that sacrificed himself for even me. No one can come to the Father except through the Son. Although I support the Methodist position on infant baptism, I was baptized as an adult and can empathize with those denominations that require a level of maturity and decision making skills – being baptized as an adult is an amazingly powerful experience! Saved by faith alone, I began a life of works on the never-ending trek on the road to perfection.
We can not be “made holy” over-night (at least I sure can’t be), it takes a life-time of the Spirit working through us in sanctifying grace. Again, for me this grace seems to come to me through His human agents. Where before I thought that a muscular brain could “decode” (aka control) the Bible, my beloved Disciple small group learned together that scripture is a wild ever-changing river that the Spirit in us discerns and interprets; where before I thought that I was worthless, we learned together what our priceless spiritual gifts were for. Flashing images of saints among us sustain and inspire me along the frustrating way: Wes Jones, hobbling to the lectern to read powerfully through his frail trembling voice; the Ryans, leaping in faith to Arkansas, taking the rest of us with them; little Gracie dancing freely before her Maker; Danita delighting in Delilah and shedding her shoes during worship; an all-night vigil that was timeless; Vonda witnessing; Mabel sprinting to the church door; a heart-racing laying of hands anointing the Haiti-bound; a knee-weakening prayer circle on the steps for one in pain late at night. Sanctifying grace enables us to close the circle and be conduits for God’s grace to others.
WOW, this is an excellent subject. I have to ask myself, "How did I get to the point I am in my Spiritual Life?" (I believe it was a process, and not one particular thing.) "Did I enroll into a particular course to be where I am with my Spiritual Life?" (Again, I believe this was a multitude of things.) "Did someone say, Hey Bob, do you want to become a Disciple?" (Maybe yes!)
I believe for me it was a constant changing commitment to TRY to do what was truly right in the Eyes of the Lord.
Ann & Mark Lesh (sister-in-law & brother-in-law) would talk about Church and following Christ. The real convincing part was that their actions matched their words. This stirred up my curiosity and I began questioning myself about how I was living my life, which led me to begin attending Worship services.
Then came the urge to learn more as to "What is all of this truly about?" Oh, this is where Tim & Pam Good come into my life, "Hey, we are starting a Disciple I course (Bible Study 101), do you want to attend?" Of course I said yes.
This led to making a commitment to a 30 some week study of the Bible. It was not easy starting a ground zero, but the support of the group helped make it easier and a desire to stay the course.
The commitment stuck for Disciple II, III, IV, and Jesus in the Gospels. I believe our entire group made a commitment to continue with these courses and really formed a community. A very special commitment was made by Tim to prepare materials and facilitate all of these courses. It was a life changing experience for me. I believe my life was being transformed, even though I didn't realize it at the time.
This all lead to responding to a call to do some mission work. I was at a point of responding with a "Yes, Lord." and placing my trust in Him that He will lead and guide. He did, and what a ride!
The next point was at a Sunday Service with the commissioning and laying of the hands......What a powerful experience.....I believe that was my real first experience with the Holy Spirit.
I still feel that I have much more to learn and experience. This journey did NOT spiral upward at all times for me; it truly consisted of celebration times, questioning my Faith times, doubting times, and just a complete gambit of emotions.
I'm sorry to be so long winded, but this is how I believe that came to the
Spiritual level that I am at presently. It definitely took the Spirit, commitment, desire, trust, leadership, and community to help make all of this happen.
A common theme seems to be the Disciple Small Group Bible Study! Is anyone interested in changing lives through Disciple 1 this fall? We'd need at least 6 people to achieve a critical mass for dialogue (8 to 12 is better). Like all significant things, it requires a significant commitment: about an hour every day for reading, prayer, meditation and note taking; and a 3-hour meeting each week for a video, discussion and debate, mutual support and accountability, fellowship and prayer (consistent attendance is critical for the group to function - only 3 absences allowed).
Good service Sunday! It was very effective in reminding us of our own baptisms. I liked the confirmands' skit on how shells can help us remember, and that we all had to get our hands wet by reaching into a bowl of water to retrieve shells of our own. It was also special to have the confirmands serve communion as their first act as members of the church.
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